Well I just finished my final. I hope I did well. It was hard to concentrate. They had me on a bar stool that I am surprised it held my weight. It was all shaky and wobbly that i was scared to sit on it. Then that couple came in and kept talking loud and I kept losing my train of thought. The little lady at the counter went and told them I was taking a test but they kept on talking. So rude and disrespectful. Then she didn't know what to do after I took my test. She kept asking me but she is the one who had the instructions - I never got to see them. Then she told me it was 20 cents for me printing my exam and all I had was a 20.00 and she didn't have change. Then she asked if I was supposed to fax it back. I told her I thought that was her place since she was the proctor. Then I was told I owed them 6.00 for faxing it. Thank goodness Alex gave me that 20.00 last night for his gas or I would have been up a creek with no cash. I guess this is why I am supposed to carry cash and not just my debit card.
All of this happened after I woke up this morning to see a 0/100 for my portfolio grade. I didn't use the proper format that was in doc sharing. I am really thankful the professor asked me to correct that and she would change the zero once I had submitted it. I was in panic mode to get that finished before I left the house for my final. Thank goodness I did.
Alex missed school because he has been throwing up all night. So I had to give him medicine before I left and I wasn't able to have my cell on in case he needed me.
Then I read the instructions on the writer's notebook having to be in a blog so I had to create a blog spot and type everything from all the weeks of this semester into it.
Wow! That is all I have. WOW!
Next we see if I have even passed this class.... Start the prayers if you haven't already started!
Monday, May 7, 2012
week 7 writer's notebook
This week and next and this semester is over. It has been a struggle for me and I still don't feel like I have grasped and learned the proper way to write an essay. I really liked what James wrote on his thread about taking baby steps. I wish I would have seen that in week 1 instead of week 7. Maybe I have just pushed myself too hard to be a good writer that if I had just realized that writing good is a learning process and taken baby steps to figure it out I would have done better this semester. Instead I jumped in feet first and assumed I would be good at writing. I really feel like a failure in this class. I do not see how I can make an A for this class even if by some miracle I got A's on the rest of the assignments. The final is next week. I scheduled it for first thing on Monday to get it over with. I wonder what that will be over? We haven't taken any tests - all we have done is write and if it consists of writing another essay then I am doomed before I get started on it. Maybe if I start out with the beginning, middle and end and just add to them then I will do better than just starting and trying to make it all come together. I have to remember to give explanations of why I think or feel the way I do. I hope I can remember that part in the final.
week 6 writer's notebook
Well last week's peer review was bad enough but we get to do it again. Instead of fixing my essay I start all over with a new one. I just can't grasp the whole writing thing. I do not understand why I can't write. I am frustrated and ready for this semester to be over. I don't know why, I just get to take EN106 next semester and I am sure that will be worse. If I can just get through these two semesters then maybe I will be through with the whole essay thing. I can write a term paper, I am doing fine with my research paper in my management class. Why can't I get this whole essay thing? I am tired and I just want to be able to rest. I just want to be able to come home from work and all the drama there and just take a hot bubble bath, curl up in bed and turn on one of my recordings. Is that too much to ask? I am getting burnt out. Just a couple more weeks and it will be over and I can rest for a few days. But then I will have to do all of this again. Chad says it will take me three or four years to be able to graduate. I can tell now that I will be wishing my life away for the next few years to be over. I just hope it will all be worth it in the end.
week 5 writer's notebook
Oh my god! I know this is going to be dooms week. We have to post our essays for the other classmates to read and then they get to comment on them. I DO NOT want anyone else to see how bad I write. The Professor seeing them is bad enough but for God and everybody to see is going to be the most embarrassing part of the semester! I dread seeing what they will say about my essays. I am sure they will all say they are horrible and that I have no idea what the crap I am doing. The feeling of throwing up has set in and I just don't see how I can submit my writing. I guess I don't have a choice. I usually do not do well with criticism and I hope that I can't take it without getting mad. I guess if I can't write then maybe I can learn to take their criticism and keep my mouth shut! Boy that would make my mother proud. To know I kept my mouth shut.
I hope that I start getting the hang of writing pretty soon because the semester is half way over and I still haven't gotten the A that I want so bad. I have started making Monday nights my reading night and trying to get at least one class's reading assignment done. So far I have been able to get most of it done. Plus, I have started taking my lunch to work and sitting in my office doing homework for that hour. At least that gives me a few more hours to get it completed. If only people would leave me alone so I could have a lunch hour. Everyday someone wants something or to just chit chat and I just want to tell them to get out!
I hope that I start getting the hang of writing pretty soon because the semester is half way over and I still haven't gotten the A that I want so bad. I have started making Monday nights my reading night and trying to get at least one class's reading assignment done. So far I have been able to get most of it done. Plus, I have started taking my lunch to work and sitting in my office doing homework for that hour. At least that gives me a few more hours to get it completed. If only people would leave me alone so I could have a lunch hour. Everyday someone wants something or to just chit chat and I just want to tell them to get out!
week 4 writer's notebook
Well I am having issues with my proctor for my final exam. I wish I knew if I was going to be here or be in Ohio by that time. My professor will not let Jason be my proctor and I don't know where to go to set up someone. Do I set it up here and then if I am in Ohio by then come back here to take it or do I set it up in Ohio and just hope I am there by then? Like I needed any more stress on my back. I can't pass the semester unless I take the exam. I am not enrolling in another semester until I know if I am transferring or not. I can't go through this every semester.
I still can't write an essay worth an A. I can't stay focused on what I am writing without losing the attention of my reader. I am all over the page. I put too much nonsense and not enough information. I keep getting interrupted when I sit down to do homework. If I could only get one thing finished the first time I sit down to do it. I know I am a mother first before I am anything else. It just seems they always need or want my attention after I start my homework. They may not say anything to me before but as soon as I sit down here they come. I forget what I have already read and have to start all over.
I still can't write an essay worth an A. I can't stay focused on what I am writing without losing the attention of my reader. I am all over the page. I put too much nonsense and not enough information. I keep getting interrupted when I sit down to do homework. If I could only get one thing finished the first time I sit down to do it. I know I am a mother first before I am anything else. It just seems they always need or want my attention after I start my homework. They may not say anything to me before but as soon as I sit down here they come. I forget what I have already read and have to start all over.
Week 3 writer's notebook
Well I bombed the first essay. I am just all not good at writing. I don't know what to do to be better. I really am trying to do well in this class but I am getting frustrated by having to come home every night and read. I just want to be able to relax. Maybe I was wrong thinking I would work and go to school. I never had to study in high school and it all just came to me. I made good grades and had time to do other things. Now I find that my life is consumed with work and school and I have no life because every time someone calls and wants to go somewhere I get to reply that I have homework. The essay on mother tongue was interesting but how am I going to figure out what to write about that? I only speak English and I am not familiar with any other language. I did learn some sign language a hundred years ago but how do you write about sign language especially when I do not even remember how to use it? I am to the point of screaming. Somehow I have to figure out how to write and write good. Chad tries to tell me how to write better but for the life of me it kinda goes in one ear and out the other. I just can't grasp the concept. How in the world did he get his Master's and do so well? I wish I knew so I could do just as well on my bachelors.
Week 2 Writer's Notebook
Week 2
Well I am going to have to get into a routine in order to get the deadline for Thursday noon. I asked Chad what he did to me. He just laughed and told me that I had to take this class and better to do it now and get it over with than to have to take it later. I guess he has a good point.
I struggle with reading with interpreting what the writer is saying. I end up attempting to write an essay thinking I know what the writer is saying to end up not making a very good grade. I have my doubts that this semester I will get an A. Writing an essay is so hard. I thought this would come so easy to me. I did win that essay contest back in the day. As I remember they said I won that essay because I talked about all of the things that made me happy and not just about one thing. If I understand this class right I am supposed to write about one thing. I wonder if anyone else interprets the essay the same as I do or if everyone interprets it different and if that is except able. I don't feel very good about my writing abilities to this point and I just hope that before the semester ends that I get the hang of it and can make a final grade of an A. Surely writing can't be as hard as I think it is.
Well I am going to have to get into a routine in order to get the deadline for Thursday noon. I asked Chad what he did to me. He just laughed and told me that I had to take this class and better to do it now and get it over with than to have to take it later. I guess he has a good point.
I struggle with reading with interpreting what the writer is saying. I end up attempting to write an essay thinking I know what the writer is saying to end up not making a very good grade. I have my doubts that this semester I will get an A. Writing an essay is so hard. I thought this would come so easy to me. I did win that essay contest back in the day. As I remember they said I won that essay because I talked about all of the things that made me happy and not just about one thing. If I understand this class right I am supposed to write about one thing. I wonder if anyone else interprets the essay the same as I do or if everyone interprets it different and if that is except able. I don't feel very good about my writing abilities to this point and I just hope that before the semester ends that I get the hang of it and can make a final grade of an A. Surely writing can't be as hard as I think it is.
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